Growing Up Afraid of the World: How Childhood Trauma Shapes Us

Growing up, I learned to stay quiet.

After everythin that had happened in my childhood, silence felt safer than speaking. I became the kind of child who watched the world from a distance instead of stepping into it.

Inside, I wanted the same things other children wanted. I wanted friends. I wanted someone to laugh with, someone to play with, someone who understood me. But fear followed me everywhere.

I had been taught that being alone was safer. I had learned that trusting people could bring punishment, pain or disappointment. So even when I stood near other children, I felt like I was standing behind an invisible wall.

At school, I watched friendships form easily around me. Children laugthed together, shared their stories and built memories that seemed natural and effortless. I wanted to join them but something inside me always held me back.

Years of growing up in fear had made me quiet and cautious around others.

Sometimes I believe that in order to keep friends, I had to give them something in return. I thought I had ro share everything I had or treat people in order to be

accepted. It felt like friendship was something I had to earn rather than something that could simply exist. Even though those years were filled with confusion and loneliness, they were also shaping the person I would become. Without realizing it, I was learning how deeply childhood experiences can shape the way we see the world. The fear, the silence and the loneliess stayed with me for many years. I was a young girl who was simply trying to survive the world she had been place in. She carried pain and fear inside her heart. And that strength would one day help her being a journey of healing.

If you have experienced something similar in your childhood, you are not alone.

Everyone carries their own story some painful, some complicated and some still healing. If you feel comfortable, you can share your thoughts or your story in the comments.

Sometimes speaking about our experiences helps us realise that we are not alone in this world.

→ Continue reading: When I Had to Stand on My Own Feet